4.

Everyone has that dream, the life that they want. Mine was grow up, get a good job I loved doing, fall in love, get married, have a family, live happily ever after. Seemed simple enough, I figured all I needed was an education, a boy and a little faith. I didn't expect it to be difficult, I didn't expect to work at it too hard, I figured if it was meant to be it would work out easily. I didn't anticipate the challenges I'd meet, the hurdles I would need to struggle over. When I was younger and the hurdles were smaller, it seemed enough just to have my family and close friends on the side lines encouraging me and giving me the occasional boost over said hurdles. But as I grew more independent and bloomed into my own person, I relied less and less on the encouragement of others and more on myself, it still helped knowing my family and friends were there, but I knew I could make it on my own. I'm not saying I never need to hear the occasional boost of confidence or reassurance; heaven knows how often I've wanted to sit down and cry, give up, felt that this particular hurdle just may be the one I can't overcome, and found inspiration from an outside source. Whether it be a compassionate talk with my mommy, a reassuring cuddle from my daddy, seeing myself through my sister's eyes as a person capable of anything I set my mind to, watching my brother not only overcome his hurdles but seemingly shine in all areas in which he makes even the slightest effort, a day with my grandparents in which they just love me and make things seem easier, or a long cry and an understanding Best Friend someone that I have always been able to be vulnerable around and trust, is just the trick to get me over that hurdle.

No so far my life hasn't been easy, but it hasnt been as hard as it could be either, I guess sometimes you're so eager to get to the hurdles you want that the ones you're jumping now seem more tedious and strenuous than they actually are. In my rush to get ahead I've made mistakes, I've hurt some people, and hurt myself, and in that way have made more obstacles for myself. But I have learnt along the way, there is no easy way to the end of this journey called life, sometimes you need to step away from that hurdle you're struggling with, take a breath, and say ok, I've made a mistake, I've been going at this the wrong way.

C'est la vie <3